'Mom, I am writing this post not to degrade or insult you, but only to express my anger and frustration built up inside due to all the drama at home' read the mail as I attached the link to his very recent post which I had written. I was completely frustrated by the drama he had been facing at home from his parents over anything and everything I did. I went through the final draft once again and hit SEND.
'I had no other option than to light the first cigarette I was holding in one of my hands. The other hand had which had my mark sheet with an 'F' mark on it. Yes F mark. I had failed in a subject. Someone who scored a 92 in 10th, 89 in 12th, had an F on his mark sheet. The burden to face my parents and show them the mark sheet was just getting heavier by the second. I did not know how and what to show them. I decided not to tell them anything, dumped the mark sheet in the bag, smoked the cigarette and walked home. I could not face my mom that evening. I could not make any sort of eye contact. I just felt a guilt rip my conscience. So i lit another cigarette and smoked the burden away. I studied harder that semester. I had to prove it to myself i was not as bad as my grades showed. But I hit another 'F.' Yes another F. after all the effort i faced another F. I had nowhere to go. What face would i take home? A family where we have pass outs from IIM's and IIT's I had two backlogs from a not so bad deemed university.
I lit up another cigarette. The flowing ashes seem to be taking away some burden of mine. Not all of it. I called up my best friend. Lets grab a drink he said. I thought he was talking about a cold drink we regular;y had at the local general store, but it was different this time. I just gulped down my final bottle of beer enough to make me tipsy. Not high.
I felt the worries and burdens of expectations fly away as I rode my scooty back home. The cool breeze, and the beer worked their magic but only for a while. I was stopped by a traffic cop. He asked me to breathe out on some kind of machine which showed some numbers. It showed 70mg/100ml. I did not understand what it was but by the looks of the cops face it did not look good. Fortunately for me he just gave me receipt of 2000 bucks and took my licence and vehicle. Phew saved. I dumped the receipt into the bag along with the mark sheet having 2 F's, went home and slept.
I woke up to sobs. I looked around so i found my mom holding my bag and two documents. I knew I had it today. Now or never.
"We expected better of you Rohan. We have given you everything possible. Your own room, AC, cellphone everything. We have put up with all your tantrums too. Why do you need a car to college? We haven't forced you to do engineering but you really seem to be not understanding. You are completely lazy, irresponsible, careless son we had never expected to have...."
"Mom!! Mom!! Can you just stop crying and giving me enough drama. I already have enough on my head. I don't need any of your drama now."
"How dare you talk to your mother like that? You have let us down big time. You don't handle your responsibilities, do not wish to study, waste time in that stupid gadget of yours everyday, you want the best ever phone, car but no studies at all. You want to watch netflix everyday and do nothing other than laze around? Do you even care to talk to us? Do you even consider us family? And when were you going to tell us about this?
Backlogs? Nobody in our family has ever got this. And drunk driving? Since when are you drinking?
"I smoke too" I replied stone heartedly to make them shut up
How dare you talk to us like that?
I walked out.
Lit another cigarette and just walked away, determined to prove them wrong. But my way.
You must be thinking like every other teenager I took up drinking and smoking incessantly without limits and that under peer pressure I just became a complete rebel fighting for my freedom?
No. You are wrong. You are in for a shock i should say.
Yes I have had my phone checked by my mother, pocket money curtailed, parents's trust lost, been lonely(so called), fought the world alone for my rights, fought my parents for every small thing coming close to ruining my freedom, and maybe close to endless other things every teenager fights for.
Yes we are different. But so are they. They have seen. They have endured. They have changed. Well i really do not blame our parents for the way they react to every action of ours. We ourselves are the reason behind it. Our generation (actually a few cartoons) and few of our rebellious actions are the reason for it. I mean the beer bottle in every picture of you and your friend make them think we are drunkards and go around senselessly doing wild things, We are stopped from hanging out with friends because they do not trust our friends until they meet them, and even after that if they are not good (but hell no they can't be bad:they are MY friends right?). But do we really care? NO.
Maybe we should. Maybe we should strike a balance and reduce the generation gap we have. Let's talk to them and tell them about our choices. Make them understand why we choose certain things we choose. Try and understand things out of their experience. They do have done wild things. Yes they have. My dad keeps telling me about his beer escapades and how he had landed in trouble with with the principal of his school for his mischiefs in school. But in all of them there was one thing common. My grandfather. My dad always confided in him more than he confided in his best friend and he always supported him. He scolded him when he was wrong but also showed him the right way and helped him walk it (but our generation is too independent and strong to accept help, let be our old stupid parents.).
All I am trying to say is we need to talk to them and strike a balance. If they can understand and change to use social media and smart phones(not the optimum usage though), change to western form of clothing and accept the western culture, they can accept the difference and change in the thought process. We need to talk to them, confide them and make them our friends because we need to understand the mistakes and make our new ones.
WE DO NOT LIKE TO BE PINNED DOWN.
I guess that is a reflex reply you might have given. Yes the parents too have to play a part in this. They have to be understanding, supportive (not always), provide ADEQUATE freedom(Not too less for us and not too much for you). Listen to us. Listen what we wish to express and do not judge us. Tell us if we are wrong. Discuss how can we change things, rectify our mistakes. But most of all stand by us.
Please let us make our own mistakes and help us stand up and go through them. That is for our own good. We will come back to you stronger, but if you help us we will be even more stronger. We are smart and sane enough to understand the good and bad, but you can help us find the better by discussing things.
Simply talk to them and make them trust you enough with yopur choices that they discuss different probabilities of change and improvement s whole.
Suno sabki aur karo man ki ;)
Today I work at a multinational corporation, take my own decisions convincing my parents(They come to me for solutions), and have open hearted conversations with them. They are my best friends now.
I lit up another cigarette. The flowing ashes seem to be taking away some burden of mine. Not all of it. I called up my best friend. Lets grab a drink he said. I thought he was talking about a cold drink we regular;y had at the local general store, but it was different this time. I just gulped down my final bottle of beer enough to make me tipsy. Not high.
I felt the worries and burdens of expectations fly away as I rode my scooty back home. The cool breeze, and the beer worked their magic but only for a while. I was stopped by a traffic cop. He asked me to breathe out on some kind of machine which showed some numbers. It showed 70mg/100ml. I did not understand what it was but by the looks of the cops face it did not look good. Fortunately for me he just gave me receipt of 2000 bucks and took my licence and vehicle. Phew saved. I dumped the receipt into the bag along with the mark sheet having 2 F's, went home and slept.
I woke up to sobs. I looked around so i found my mom holding my bag and two documents. I knew I had it today. Now or never.
"We expected better of you Rohan. We have given you everything possible. Your own room, AC, cellphone everything. We have put up with all your tantrums too. Why do you need a car to college? We haven't forced you to do engineering but you really seem to be not understanding. You are completely lazy, irresponsible, careless son we had never expected to have...."
"Mom!! Mom!! Can you just stop crying and giving me enough drama. I already have enough on my head. I don't need any of your drama now."
"How dare you talk to your mother like that? You have let us down big time. You don't handle your responsibilities, do not wish to study, waste time in that stupid gadget of yours everyday, you want the best ever phone, car but no studies at all. You want to watch netflix everyday and do nothing other than laze around? Do you even care to talk to us? Do you even consider us family? And when were you going to tell us about this?
Backlogs? Nobody in our family has ever got this. And drunk driving? Since when are you drinking?
"I smoke too" I replied stone heartedly to make them shut up
How dare you talk to us like that?
I walked out.
Lit another cigarette and just walked away, determined to prove them wrong. But my way.
You must be thinking like every other teenager I took up drinking and smoking incessantly without limits and that under peer pressure I just became a complete rebel fighting for my freedom?
No. You are wrong. You are in for a shock i should say.
Yes I have had my phone checked by my mother, pocket money curtailed, parents's trust lost, been lonely(so called), fought the world alone for my rights, fought my parents for every small thing coming close to ruining my freedom, and maybe close to endless other things every teenager fights for.
Yes we are different. But so are they. They have seen. They have endured. They have changed. Well i really do not blame our parents for the way they react to every action of ours. We ourselves are the reason behind it. Our generation (actually a few cartoons) and few of our rebellious actions are the reason for it. I mean the beer bottle in every picture of you and your friend make them think we are drunkards and go around senselessly doing wild things, We are stopped from hanging out with friends because they do not trust our friends until they meet them, and even after that if they are not good (but hell no they can't be bad:they are MY friends right?). But do we really care? NO.
Maybe we should. Maybe we should strike a balance and reduce the generation gap we have. Let's talk to them and tell them about our choices. Make them understand why we choose certain things we choose. Try and understand things out of their experience. They do have done wild things. Yes they have. My dad keeps telling me about his beer escapades and how he had landed in trouble with with the principal of his school for his mischiefs in school. But in all of them there was one thing common. My grandfather. My dad always confided in him more than he confided in his best friend and he always supported him. He scolded him when he was wrong but also showed him the right way and helped him walk it (but our generation is too independent and strong to accept help, let be our old stupid parents.).
All I am trying to say is we need to talk to them and strike a balance. If they can understand and change to use social media and smart phones(not the optimum usage though), change to western form of clothing and accept the western culture, they can accept the difference and change in the thought process. We need to talk to them, confide them and make them our friends because we need to understand the mistakes and make our new ones.
WE DO NOT LIKE TO BE PINNED DOWN.
I guess that is a reflex reply you might have given. Yes the parents too have to play a part in this. They have to be understanding, supportive (not always), provide ADEQUATE freedom(Not too less for us and not too much for you). Listen to us. Listen what we wish to express and do not judge us. Tell us if we are wrong. Discuss how can we change things, rectify our mistakes. But most of all stand by us.
Please let us make our own mistakes and help us stand up and go through them. That is for our own good. We will come back to you stronger, but if you help us we will be even more stronger. We are smart and sane enough to understand the good and bad, but you can help us find the better by discussing things.
Simply talk to them and make them trust you enough with yopur choices that they discuss different probabilities of change and improvement s whole.
Suno sabki aur karo man ki ;)
Today I work at a multinational corporation, take my own decisions convincing my parents(They come to me for solutions), and have open hearted conversations with them. They are my best friends now.
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